If you are feeling like a little lost child who has lost her best friend and doesn’t know what to do, then welcome to the club.
We all feel like children when we are sad and lonely
Most of us, adult and child, have gone through the experience of losing a meaningful relationship. It is a loss of the special person or pet’s personality, but also the major part they played in your life. when you love someone , or have needed their protections and friendship, bonds of attachment are formed no matter how satisfactory or unsatisfactory the relationship has been.
Who Are You Now?
When the bonds are broken you actually suffer a double loss to the heart and head. The loss of the person and also the loss of the roles you both played in the relationship. It takes time and effort to reclaim a life without the relationship and the associated circle of friends that went with it.
If you are divorced, separated or dumped by a partner you may find it easier to get in touch with your anger over the parting. There is usually some dialog that will be ongoing with a lot of if only…. and why didn’t I…? Death of a spouse often brings guilt, numbness and a sensation of anxiety over possible financial pressures, effects on children and a wistful wishing of what might have been?
Healing From a Broken Relationship
No matter what the circumstances of the broken relationship, there is bound to be a period of grief and loss. The death of a relationship is as painful for many as the death of a person. Many grieve more at loss of a beloved pet than losing people in their lives. The more you were dependent and attached, the larger the hole in your heart that must be refilled. You must give yourself quality mourning time to deal with your loss. There will probably be days when you need to weep, rehash all the circumstances, re-frame some of the memories that are not serving you right now.
Sharing with friends or a support group will help you to put your grieve into a healthy prospective and to safely be open to your emotions.
Questions to Help You Process This Article
- Do you feel that grieve from death is deeper than from a divorce?
- Have you ever broken up with someone? How did it feel for you?
- When someone broke up with you, did you feel a sense of abandonment? Why?
- Is it okay to be angry at someone who dies?
- Is grief and loss easy to get over?
Thank you for being part of this community of kind, thoughtful people who respect one another.
Judy Helm Wright aka Auntie Artichoke, family relationship author and keynote speaker
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