Ernest Hemingway once said; “The world breaks everyone. And afterward, many are strong in the broken places.”
When bad things happen in our lives, our first response is “Why me?” “What did I do to deserve this?” “I’m a good person, so why are bad things happening to me?”
When we’re going through adversity, it can often be hard to believe that everyone suffers loss and heartache. It can sometimes be even harder when bad things happen to people close to you- Maybe one of your relatives is diagnosed with a serious illness, and you find yourself asking the same questions. What did they do to deserve this?
Sometimes we may even feel resentment towards others who are not suffering and find ourselves questioning why trouble did not choose them instead. Especially when it seems that the other person is much less honorable person than you are, it can feel unfair when they still have things like good health or a big bank account, and you don’t.
Don’t Carry around a Measuring Stick!
It’s easy to measure others against yourself, especially in times of adversity, but it is not a helpful thing to do. It’s hard not to feel like you’re alone in your suffering-but you’re not. Everyone goes through adversity, and adversity happens to everyone at different points in their lives, in different ways. It may seem like someone has a perfect life, but I can guarantee they have troubles too. Just because their life seems good now, doesn’t mean they haven’t gone through a lot to get to that place, or that they will never experience any adversity in the future. Everyone’s lives are different and it’s not fair to compare them.
It’s Not Fair
Life isn’t fair. As a mother of six children I tried to hard at Christmas time to make the gifts come out even for everyone. No matter how many times I counted and then made lists and then recounted, on Christmas morning during the bedlam of presents, paper and toys, I would realize it hadn’t been fair. Someone had gotten a watch worth twenty dollars and someone had gotten a bracelet worth three dollars. Some one had gotten the exact doll she wanted and someone else got the one that was in style last year.
We finally decided to recognize and joke that no matter what we did, it was never going to come out even. But the joy was that you knew that the chances were good that one day it would be your turn to get exactly what you wanted. We would often recite the battle cry of large families and pre-schools around the world; “You get what you get, and you don’t throw a fit.”
In life, we want to have control and to be able to make everything as fair as possible. But sometimes, it’s important to remember that we don’t have control over everything. We can only do so much!
Blessings in Disguise
Though it often doesn’t seem like it at the time, the bad things that happen in our life help us to grow. They teach us lessons that we never would have learned during good times, and help us to grow stronger.
The way I see it, you have two options when adversity comes into your life; you can either keep questioning the unfairness of the situation and just give up. Or you can see it as an opportunity for growth.
As Earnest Hemingway said earlier, we all get broken in some way and it is the broken pieces that make us strong.
When we take the chance to grow through loss, grief, and adversity, we will become stronger and more resilient. I know this is true, because I have experienced it in my own life and the lives of countless friends and family.
Questions to Think about
1. Can you look back in your life and recognize how a certain situation helped you to grow personally and spiritually?
2. What do you think about when bad things happen to you?
3. Have you ever said “That’s not fair?” Why?
Things to Remember
- Bad things happen to everyone
- Nobody’s life is perfect
- You can only control so much
- Adversity makes you stronger and causes growth
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(c)Judy Helm Wright is an author of over 20 books, international speaker on family relationships and a wise woman with a global message. Claim your free ebook and join others who want to enhance relationships in very area of life. http://www.artichokepress.com