5 Tips for Family Resilience- Bounce Back From Adversity
Family resilience is the ability to bounce back from the adversities and bad luck that befall us. No family or individual is immune from misfortune and tragedy. Daily life is filled with challenges to individual members of the family and sometimes to the family unit itself.
As the economy becomes more unstable and family finances go up and down, I see those families who are able to weather the storm and those who are devastated and destroyed.
Functioning Families Hang On
In my work as a family coach I see daily evidence of those families who can hang on to each other until a solution is found. These families have developed a system and ability to spring back from bad times.
Their struggle to get through a tough situation is admirable. I have noticed that they all seem to have intuitively used these 5 coping skills to bounce back.
- Panic With Purpose-Once the panic stage is over; they step back from the pain and look at life more objectively.
- No Blame or Shame-They did not buy into or assign guilt or blame. It was not someone’s fault, but rather a situation to be solved.
- Remember Coping Successes-They bring up past successes of their family and other families they know and admire and how they coped with pain and disappointment. They assess their areas of strengths.
- Brain Storm Ideas-They take a clear look at the problem and brainstorm solutions. They recognize that there are always a minimum of five methods of solving any situation
- Move Forward- The new way may not feel comfortable at first, but the lines of communication are kept open and adjustments are made.
Cycle of Resiliency
It takes time and effort to adjust to new experiences, whether they are happy or sad.
Families who are resilient learn a new rhythm which will evolve and guide their lives as individuals as well as a unit. Without that rhythm and flow the energy becomes stagnant and stuck in unhealthy places.
Self Awareness Quiz
- Do you remember a time in your childhood when a big change occurred and how your family handled the experience?
- At that time, were all members of the family involved in finding solutions or was “the new way” just dictated by the adults?
- Did you wish that your family had chosen another way to cope? Can you do so now? Can you be more resilient and bounce back from disappointments?