© Judy H. Wright http://www.judyhwright.com
If you feel you have been wronged, or betrayed, or robbed of your happiness or well-being by another person or situation, you have the right to those feelings. But know that those negative emotions are hurting you far more than they are the one who caused you harm.
The main benefits of forgiveness do not go to the person who has been forgiven, but rather to heal the person who forgives.
What is Forgiveness
Forgiveness means letting go of anger or resentment, sometimes it is accompanied by a greater empathy for the point of view of the person who has harmed us. It does not mean denying harm, or even letting the person you have forgiven back into your life. It may not even mean speaking to them directly.
The space in your mind, body and emotions that is remembering is locked full of ill feeling and cannot open to a healthy life. I have always remembered a visual example a speaker showing the audience his clenched fist to demonstrate being unforgiving.
That shaking fist seems threatening and seeking retribution for all the
remembered hurts and betrayals. When the fist is closed so tightly, it signals anger to others. It shuts down your ability to get hurt in that specific way, but it also shuts down your healing ability. Your muscles are clenched and your breathing is shallow. Bearing grudges against others or yourself also signals to the Universe that you closed and not willing to vulnerable.
That tightly grasped hurt and closed attitude is also not open to receiving new and wonderful gifts. When you release your fist and unfold your hand to accept new experiences, you grow in ways that are beyond your wildest dreams. Be open to joy
I encourage you to be especially forgiving of yourself. If you have hurt others, apologize or try to make restitution. If you made mistakes, learn from them. If you are ashamed of your past behavior, then admit it and let it go.
Don’t let resentment or anger rule your life or ruin your health. Heal those memories and heal your body, mind and spirit. This is one of the most important lessons on how to be a bounce-back person. You must be able to release those downward spiraling thoughts and open your fist (or heart) in order to return for life affirming good experiences.
Forgiveness heals broken hearts and relationships. It is a gift you give yourself and to the people who love you.
- Can you make a choice to forgive yourself for something you did in the past that you regret?
- Do you have to forget what happened in order to forgive someone for hurting you?
- Do you really believe that forgiveness heals?
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